March 5, 2020 | Annette Fasone Project Manager Without using the words in your job title, describe what you do…
The Pumpkin King
It’s the most wonderful time of the year!
No, not Christmas. That’s the most stressful time of the year. We’re talking about everyone’s real favorite holiday: Halloween.
Here at Ideas United, we take Halloween very seriously. We’ve had spooky decorations up since mid-September. We’ve hosted weekly horror movie viewing nights. We even have an entire Slack channel dedicated to #HauntedHouses. We dive headfirst into the blood-filled, candy-coated cauldron that is all things Halloween. And we have absolutely no shame about it.
All of our Halloween preparations lead up to the pumpkin carving party, one of the most important IU traditions. The night that we battle for what is quite possibly our company’s highest honor: the Pumpkin King.
Sure, lots of offices host pumpkin parties. They carve cute little faces from cute little stencils onto cute little pumpkins. They invite the kids, drink some punch, and have a nice wholesome time.
That’s not how we do things.
Our pumpkin carving party started off that way a few years ago — nice, innocent fun involving alcohol and tools that are literally designed to carve flesh. What could go wrong?
(We’re actually not legally allowed to talk about what went wrong, but this is where we are).
Now our pumpkin carving party exists for one purpose and one purpose only: to destroy each other with our pumpkin artist abilities.
This year was no different. We hoarded our carving supplies. We spent all day trying to psych each other out. We mixed a surprisingly potent batch of sangria. Pumpkin Party 2017 was about to be (quite literally) LIT.
We wrapped up our workdays and hurried to grab a drink (you gotta move quick around here — we’ve learned that the hard way a few times). We moved onto the patio and started carving.
Cory, the reigning Pumpkin King, was already at work. At least, we hoped that was why he was sitting on the ground surrounded by doll parts and dry ice with a carving knife in one hand and a hot glue gun in the other. You never know with that one.
Jess, who was dethroned by Cory two years ago, carefully organized her carving tools like a surgeon prepping for a transplant. Julia, the dark horse, quietly worked in the corner. Evan put his pumpkin on the table next to a roll of twine and two baby dolls, which would normally raise concern but we’ve learned not to question these things with him.
The rest of the crew milled about, waiting for the “good” carving tools to free up and taking boomerangs of dry ice clouds spilling from cups of sangria.
As the night (and sangria supply) continued, the main contenders started to take shape. Dylan chipped away at an evil grin while Vikas wrapped his entire pumpkin in aluminum foil (again, we didn’t ask questions). Julia started to regret her complicated design but refused to give up. Cherry, the new girl, quickly emerged as the only actual threat to Cory’s Pumpkin King status. Everyone else focused their energy on figuring out who had the best boomerang and sharing it as their own (#teamwork).
Finally, it was dark enough to light these things up. Time to shine. We carefully arranged and lit the masterpieces, then captured their glory on a GH4 because they were too much for your average iPhone to behold. Also, we’re a production company — we make everything look good.
The fate of the future Pumpkin King was at the mercy of the social media gods (we posted the photos on Facebook and asked our followers to vote). And vote they did.
All hail Cory, the Pumpkin King for the third year running. We bend the knee, your grace.